Confession

I have now completed my second year of teaching. My first year was rough, as to be expected. I was in a city I didn't know, far from friends and family. I didn't know anyone I worked with and I wasn't super confident in the first grade curriculum. Even though I jumped at the chance to come back to Utah to be closer to friends and family, I grew to love the other first grade teachers. I became very close with another first year teacher, and we worked together on almost everything. The other teachers slowly brought us both under their wings and we even went out together a few times to blow off steam after school. One of the hardest things about working in Nevada was the lack of supplies available to me. On top of that I was working at a school in a very low income area, so most of the parents did not have the means to donate much. It was rough and I spent a lot of my own money. But I learned a lot and applied what I learned to this past year.

This past school year was a completely different experience. There were some things I knew I would get when I came back to Utah: friends and family near by, more involved parents, and more supplies readily available to me. One thing I did not get that I was positive I would have was a team of teachers to work with. It is the norm in Utah schools that teachers in the same school teaching the same grade level work together as a team. I was one of three kindergarten teachers at my school. The other two teachers were anything but welcoming to me. I was excluded from meetings and conversations, nothing was shared with me, no planning was ever done together, they would assign me to do things without telling me, and they were flat out rude to me.

It was such a trying year.

I am so grateful for my sweet husband who would let me talk through my daily trials and would build me up when I was feeling so low.

I was also so fortunate to have a wonderful class. They were sweet and worked hard. I did not have to do much reteaching or reminding of rules and procedures. Lastly, I had a pretty steady class, not a lot of move in a move outs.

My real saving grace this year, though - the other teachers at the school. I worked with third and fourth grade in the afternoons everyday. They were so kind and made me feel like part of their team. Everything I expected to get from my own team, but didn't get, I got from those other teachers.

My husband always says to me, "If you love your job 4 out of 5 days a week, you are doing the right job." Without those other teachers, I don't know if I could have said that I loved my job 4 out of 5 days a week. I love kids, and I love teaching. But without a supporting team surrounding me, it just wasn't enough. Every interaction with the other kinder teachers left me in a more and more negative place.

I am moving schools again for the next school year. I have already met my new grade level team, what a breath of fresh air! They are so warm and inviting! We are all already friends on Facebook after only meeting a few times.

I am very optimistic going into this new school year, and can't wait for all the opportunities to come!

I Love Adoption

I am doing adoption presentations again! I have missed them since I couldn't do any while student teaching. Retelling my story is so fun for me and I love looking at these old, and some new, pictures and remembering how far this journey has come!

19 and pregnant

One week old newborn

My first birthday after Trae was born

Trae's first birthday one week later

All the hats I've made for him

All the cuddles

And the many, MANY head buts

The kisses

The adventures

And now his new brother

It has been a crazy, fun, awesome three and half years. I can't wait to see what comes next!

A Goal

As many people know, I am the period owner of a Fitbit. I love this little guy. It gets me to move more just about any other motivation. I got my stats from last year and I walked over 840 miles last year. I have decided that this year I am going to try to hit 1000 miles this year. I did the math, and that is about 2.7 miles a day. As of right now, I'm roughly 22 miles behind schedule. I've been a little lazy so far this year.

Luckily, it's a leap year so I have one woke extra day to try to get there.

Here's to making this year more productive than the last!

Curiouser and curiouser

I do not understand boys.

Last night this boy I had been texting basically non stop all day keeps hinting he wants me to invite him over. I had been cleaning all day and changing my room up so I didn't shower, which may me weary of asking him to come over. Finally, at 1:30 am I do invite him over because I was working on a hat and I just wanted to finish it. He comes over and he sit and talk. I'm sorry, when I invite you over after midnight I expect to cuddle. Not sit near each other and chat. That is a daylight activity.

He really wanted to come over to talk for an hour and a half? I mean, we had good conversations, but I can talk and cuddle and the same time.

Here's that hat. I love it. Took barely over 2 hours to make.

So cute. So messy.

I bought myself a brand new nail polish while shopping today. It was a shimmery navy blue.

Gorgeous.

I get home and open all the things I got and put them away.

Picked up the nail polish.

Immediately dropped it on the tile in my bathroom.

Shattered.

Nail polish everywhere.

Apparently it was pretty good stuff.

It's not coming off my hands.

And Through the Woods

I have started another blog called andthroughthewoodscrochet.blogspot.com to sell my hats. I am extremely nervous about either it being no good or that it will consume my already busy life. But I am also very excited about it.

I have to say, it is much better designed blog than this one was. I decided to do some 2014 sprucing of this old, outdated thing! It's simple, but clean. Which is what I wanted. Maybe I'll be learning more about how to jazz up blogs throughout the year and it will be awesome! But for now, this works.andthroughthewoodscrochet.blogspot.com

National Resolution Day

Happy New Year! Today is a day to look back on the past year; remember some of the sad moment, relish in the good ones. I'm not doing a "Top Ten of the Past Year" or a bunch of pictures from my favorite moments. I am only writing.

This year I have decided I am not making resolutions like I usually do. People make a list of goals for the upcoming year, but typically do little to achieve them. Then, at the end of the year, feel bad about not working harder so they vow to work even harder the next year. This is a vicious cycle that I am stopping for myself today.

This year for me, lack of a better word, resolution I am vowing to have a better year than last. The past four years have been rough for me. I usually just put on strong face for everyone else, then break down once I'm alone. This year I'm not doing that. I am going let people know how I feel and not let everything tumble down on top of me.

The future already looks much brighter. This year I will be graduating college! (A day I thought may never come with some of the obstacles I've had.) With graduating college the world will be my oyster, and I shall treat it as such. I will truly have the opportunity to put myself first, something I struggle with a lot. With the opportunity I will be able to decide what it is a really want. Do I want to stay in the area I grew up in? Do I want to move to Salt Lake like I've been telling myself? Do I need to stay close to Trae? Do I need to be close to my family? Would leaving Utah really be the best option for me? I don't know the answers to these questions yet. But I will.

This is my New Years Resolution: This year I am going to start living my life for me.